Once again, another graduation…
Today is another special day in my life. I finished my masters program and I made it with cum laude. After so many months of struggle, one semester postponed–I could have finished the study in 3 semesters only but too many things kept me from achieving that. But the question is: what is it after this? Would this help me improve my professional career? Or would this help me develop me personal social life better? Either way possible, I’d take the chance.
But frankly, today doesn’t really feel special or as if it is the best day of my life. The big week started few days ago, and today is simply the ultimate importance of the week yet I feel like taking this for granted. After two years of on and off determination and commitment always brings me back to the purposes of why I started this in the first place. And now I’ve done it and it’s just I lose control, no direction. I feel like taking some days off of work and putting everything together and looking into the opportunities of the future.
People live, people love. People struggle, people stride. People sicken, people perish. Common things most people do, and we really forget what’s the real essence of life. I still can’t find the answer to this confusion, unanswered thought.
Everyone lives so many different lives in their lifetime. People change all the time, to survive, to fit into new environment, surroundings and changing, emerging life. Someone doesn’t have to be in a certain place, someone else wants him to be. Someone can be anywhere he wants; inside the box, outside the box, on top of the box, underneath the box–simply wherever, for as long as we can create our life and really, get what we want. Life isn’t a perfect world for everyone. And it is not perfect for me either…
Life begins, life is going and life ends; a simple analogy to describe a chapter in life. And in between two chapters there is intermission and once can always slow down, walk, stop and think about to see what’s behind and what will be ahead of us. To see and to learn what the past life was about and what it teaches us. Sometime, we just even can’t think about it because our brain is filled with too many things and we just can’t get rid of them. At this point, we might feel hopeless, hollow and hurt. Some people would feel helpless too, just like what I once was.
Our world, is as big as how we see it. My world now is very small, perhaps just as big as my sanctuary room not big enough to contain all what I want in life. I wish it could have been a lot bigger to hold everything I have in my head, at least–so, it’s blocked. And I can’t get out; I can only make it livelier, more vibrant and more happening. To do the things that I have forgotten, the things that I used to love and enjoy doing a lot and they can bring happiness in me.
I must agree with a friend who once said that this year would be another milestone in my life: one because I finished my study (with honor). I still have few months to make this year more memorable and meaningful. My French is getting better. I produce more paintings in the last a couple of weeks. And I start my violin class soon. So, this year will be full of arts for me, including a more productive blog, and probably (hopefully) a book too.
And I’d say, “follow your heart and passion, your life lies there and beyond..”
Mohammad Reiza 